Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Am I always to blame?

Every day I wake up and pray that today will be a good my in-laws will be happy with me! Today I will be the perfect daughter-in-law...yet everyday I wake up to a phone call, text or email to say what a horrible daughter-in-law I I am breaking up the family! Is everything I do wrong? Does spending two hours with my sister once a week if that mean I am putting her before my husbands family? Does trying to ensure my career is secure and I progress mean I don't care about family life (I mean I would quit..but how would we as a family survive?) Does dancing 2 hours a week mean I am putting my passion before my family? Surely not! Surely I am just a woman trying to balance all things in life...I still go and have dinner there every day, I still try and talk to them, I help wherever I can..I work late so cannot always make dinner but try and do everything else..even offer to make things the night before...I go out with them, never said no to any social event, wear what they want me to to everyone in the community! Yet I am still not good enough...I'm not there enough..I havent taken responsibility of anything..I am not the perfect daughter in what do I do? And everything is naturally interpreted as my idea..never have they thought that it could be their sons...that they are actually pushing him away and hence I am stuck in the middle of it! But somehow in some shape or form it will always be my fault..even if I wasn't even there....
The line at the end of this blog will always stick in my head: "While a woman can work, and be at the top of her career, she may have kids and rear them real well, but at the end of the day, she still would remain the Indian daughter-in-law, forever vulnerable, and never quite up to the mark." How do you make it to the mark? What do you need to do? Cos feeling like you are not good enough every day of your life....well I think I have gone crazy!


  1. Why don't you just stop trying to please them & do what you feel is right...? I don't mean you disrespect or ignore them but being polite & stubborn at the same time is a good combination. I tried & trust me, it works. :)

  2. Thanks for the advice..however I have tried this and been told I am breaking up the you carry on with what you think is right..or live the life they want you to live? Whatever me and my husband do the blame is always to me