Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Background...who knows..who to tell...

In response to Sharin and Robbie Deol, who have asked whether I have told my husband, in-laws or parents about my dilemmas..I thought it best to give you a background on who knows and reactions etc! SO here it goes....

Who knows
Well to some extent or another my husband and my parents know. My husband knows pretty much everything as I do not believe in hiding the truth and if it was the other way round I would hope he would tell me if he was upset with anything my family has done...which he has told me.
My parents know to a certain extent - I do not tell them everything however over the years they themselves have noticed a few things - and that is all they know. I do not want to tell them to the full extent as they will worry about my happiness and that is not what I would like them to do.
My in-laws however do not know - as far as I can tell! I have never once said how I feel to them and never will I! (I know you are saying why...the reason will come below)

My parents will never do anything in the fear of making things worse. And I would never wantthem to, in the fear of them being hurt. I would rather they believed everything was fine. At the end of the day every parents fear is that their daughter has ended up in the wrong family.

Husband - you ask what his view is and whether he sticks up for me? I cannot answer this fully and maybe in time he will post his opinion. In my view and what I have seen - he sees what is going on, doesnt understand why his parents are being like this and not something he EVER expected from them. However what can he do? If he says something to his parents, they stop talking to him, they tell him he has taken my side and I have made him say these things and made him stand up for me, they think even more wrongly of me...does he want that? No! He is split between his wife and his parents...do I want that? No! Do I want him to stop talking to his parents? Never! So what can we Indian women expect our husbands to do? Either way they lose!
All I can say is in this day and age - why would people still have this mentality? Why do people believe all women are evil! Why are there people in this world who no matter what you do for them always see the negative side? Surely Life is just to short to be angry and if they took a good look at me they would realise that all I wantto be is a Daughter to them with no secret plans to take their boy away from them - if anything I want their Boy to look after them and be a MAN who will take care of both his parents and wife! Is it just a dream to be a happy family? They say thats what they want...yet they destroy it at the same time!

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