Fed up...

So I havent posted for a while as after reading "The Secret", I felt that maybe by talking and thinking bad things they are happening more - so instead of using this as a diary of what is going on and thinking negative I set out to be more positive on the situation. I started to believe that one day I will be accepted and the more happier and content I am the more likely my in-laws will see I am not out to be th mean daughter-in-law they are imagining.

However, there is no point me thinking positive if my FIL insists on conjuring up bad things in his imagination. He dreams up bad things even if they are not! He believes all women are evil even if he has sisters and after all they are also women! He believes he creates no evil but people around him are out to get him - including his own family! SO if thats what he thinks? What hope do I have?

Things did go well for a while - I seemed to feel part of the family..but all too soon I fell into the trap and now again I am getting abuse by phone and email about how all I care about is my family and my life. How I havent realised I am now a part of their family and they should be making all MY life decisions for me. I am even being threatened that when my BIL gets married I will have to think about his wife as my actions will affect her!!! (They not even married yet!!)

Everything seems to be my fault and I am an evil person plotting against him.

Most say MIL are the pain, but for me this is not true - if it wasn't for her and how she has now started accepting me and being proud of me and dare I say it even loving me, I think I would have gone crazy! However with my FIL i think I will never be able to please him and he will never see that maybe - just maybe - all my intentions are good and there is nothing evil about this woman who doesnt see herself as the family's DIL but as their Daughter who will always look out for them

one kitchen...two houses

The usual routine for us at the weekend is to wake up, clean and go to the in-laws. As that...they believe is the main house and really our place is just for sleeping and having friends round...everything else is done at the theirs...thats the "true home" so to speak. However this weekend we decided that we would stay at ours as the in-laws was out, hubby wanted to watch IPL which wasn't part of the in-laws channel package and I could get some much needed rest as well as do some extra work I needed to finish. The in-laws at the last minute invited some guests round (which was a whole different issue I will cover in another post) and so wanted the guests to meet me...however being a saturday night we already had plans so we said we would try and pop in...when we did...they mentioned to the guests that we lived at a different place and the reaction was "oh seperate??" to which MIL replyed..yes but only ONE kitchen...as in we cook together, we eat together but we live seperately!! To which I and the hubby were shocked at why do we feel the need to explain how we live...and so what if son and DIL do live seperate to parents..I mean..in-laws aren't living with their in-laws so why should we? Shouldn't it be follow by example? so what is the big deal? why should we eat together if we don't live together? Is it such a social shame if we do or doesn't it show that your son and DIL are actually capable of standing on their own two feet...